Roger Federer, Rolex and Cryogenic Freezing

by James A. Crabtree

Seriously what is his secret? Still, at this mature vintage Roger Federer still makes a victim of mostly everyone. It beggars belief.

But how has this happened? Every year we hear the commentator’s prophesise how the game has changed, how the players hit harder with more spin and are better athlete’s etcetera etcetera etcetera.

Years ago I remember a commentator at Wimbledon during an Agassi match state that the single backhand is all but dead. That heavy topspin employed with extreme Sergi Brugera type grips is the only way the modern game can be played. ‘Change with the times or be left behind’ he said.

But, Federer’s game is arguably the most classic on tour. A time warp dominating the new generation. Aside from the dodgy shorts he would be required to wear in previous generations Federer would not look out of place in the sixties, seventies or eighties.

So what is the secret to his classic game? Has time been frozen?

It is easy to imagine. Federer is sponsored by Rolex, who make very, very nice watches. Now, what if the Rolex watch was actually able to do more than just tell you the time. What if those who made the watches were able to freeze time? Imagine if every time Federer looked to be missing a beat the watch maker, a little man with a German accent, tartan waistcoat and monocle on his eye, simply wound the watch up to speed.

(Insert German accent here) “Now vee are up to Speed. Wunderbar.”

Before you know it Federer is playing like it is 2004. But hang on, its 2012. Federer is still number one.

It must be far more complicated than that…

No, not as complicated as quantum leaping because Doctor Sam Beckett couldn’t play tennis. And nothing to do with Marty McFly either. Considering the amount Federer has travelled it could be something to do with the fountain of youth but Federer, although youthful for the amount of time he has spent in the sun, has aged a little.

Apart from a few minor back niggles Federer has remained more injury free than any sports man in recent memory…

Is Roger Federer cryogenically refrigerated at night? His muscles and mind maintained or enhanced by the process of freezing at extremely low temperatures. It is not too hard to picture good ol’ Mirka in a lab coat and surgeons mask, turning down the temperature then closing the door nightly on Roger.

“Night night Roger, love you,” she would say.

“Night night Mirks, love you too.” He would respond. Before you know it a whiff of dry ice would fill the room and Federer would be sleeping soundly in one of the pods from the Alien movie.

In the morning he would wake, bright and as spritely as ten years ago.



Elin Nordegren, the cheated upon wife of Tiger Woods, may be seeking comfort from Roger Federer, a friend of Woods and fellow sports dominator.

In the linked story from the New York Post here: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/is_elin_finding_any_solace_roger_XCk8PKdrFOMsg16L6qcJ8H, Nordegren and one-year-old son Charlie dined at an exclusive hotel on Key Biscayne with Federer and his wife Mirka and their twin girls, Myla Rose and Charlene Riva, who about eight months old.

Woods, who will play his first golf event since his sex scandal erupted last November, at The Masters in Augusta, Ga., this week.

Federer and Woods have been linked by reputation and dominance in their respective sports. Both athletes are sponsored by Nike and both used to be sponsored by Gillette, until Woods was dumped by the brand when his numerous sexual affairs came to light.

Here’s a link to an article our site posted two years ago – featuring an excerpt from the Rene Stauffer book THE ROGER FEDERER STORY: QUEST FOR PERFECTION – where the first meeting between Woods and Federer is documented: http://www.tennisgrandstand.com/archives/696

Roger Federer Becomes A Father Of Twin Girls

GENEVA — Roger Federer became a father of twin girls after his wife Mirka gave birth Thursday.

In a statement released on his personal Web site and Facebook page, tennis’ world No. 1 said the girls have been named Charlene Riva and Myla Rose.

“I have some exciting news to share with you,” Federer’s Facebook page said.

“Late last night, in Switzerland, Mirka and I became proud parents of twin girls.

“We named them Myla Rose and Charlene Riva and they are both healthy, and along with their mother they are doing great.

“This is the best day of our lives.”

The names of the Federer children go slightly against how Roger himself was named. According to Rene Stauffer, author of the book THE ROGER FEDERER STORY, QUEST FOR PERFECTION ($24.95, New Chapter Press, www.rogerfedererbook.com), Roger’s parents – Robert and Lynette Federer – named their son Roger “because it could also be pronounced easily in English. Roger’s parents, even in the first hours of his life, felt that one day it could be beneficial for their son to have a name that was easy to pronounce in English.”

Writes Stauffer of the family name, “The name Federer was already familiar in Berneck before 1800, but it is ac­tually an extremely uncommon clan name in Switzerland. The most famous Federer up to that point was Heinrich Federer, a priest turned poet who died in 1928. In 1966, on his 100th birthday, he was immortalized on a Swiss postage stamp.”

The Federer twins are the first children for the couple, married in April.

Earlier this month, Mirka sat courtside through the nerve-racking Wimbledon final in which Federer beat American Andy Roddick 5-7, 7-6 (6), 7-6 (5), 3-6, 16-14 to clinch his 15th grand slam title, breaking the record held by Pete Sampras.

The 27-year-old Federer met his wife-to-be — born Miroslava Vavrinec in Slovakia — in 2000 when they were competing for Switzerland in the Sydney Olympics.

Mirka, 31, emigrated with her family to Switzerland as a small child, and after playing on the WTA Tour and retiring prematurely due to injury, she became one of Federer’s managers.