Vroom: Russian Maria Sharapova proved that her Australian Open title was no joke, backing it up with her second title of the year at the $2.5 million Qatar Total Open. The Under Armour of opponent Vera Zvonareva was no match for Masha — she took Vera out 6-1, 2-6, 6-0.

Vera takes home a nice trophy.

The men: Andy Roddick — who looks a little… chubby? weathered? (Does he look different to anyone else? Is it facial hair?) — continued to wow the San Jose crowd with a winning performance, besting Radek Stepanek 6-4, 7-5 in the final. (FYI, Andy’s won this event twice before, and made the semis two other times.)

Meanwhile, David Nalbandian’s back troubles disappeared this week during the Copa Telmex in Buenos Aires. He beat compatriot Jose Acasuso 3-6,7-6 and 6-4. I’m soooo ready for the next Yonex colorway. Yellow and red are too intense for the clay. Unless you’re Guga Kuerten.

In Rotterdam, Michael Llodra and his mouth continue to build on their early-season confidence with a second title in 2008. Llodra beat Robin Soderling 6-7 (3), 6-3, 7-6(4).

And this streaker, who made a statement at the Rotterdam final, is exactly why I am not vegan. Improper nutrition would lead me to do redundant things like writing “Vegan Streaker” on myself — as if the crowd could confuse me as a linesman. When he gets out of jail, can someone get him some beef?